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When reports emerged that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it brought addiction back into the public spotlight. However, families grappling with a child’s substance use fear the discussion will center on an extremely uncommon act of violence rather than the more widespread dangers of the disease.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the developments. They were merely familiar with the Reiners professionally, yet they feel a connection: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years in and out of rehabilitation and jail. After seven excruciating years, their son achieved sobriety in July 2010.

“It’s just tragic,” states Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the disease of addiction.”

The Scope of the Crisis

More than a significant majority of Americans report their lives have been impacted by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a family member’s dependency, homelessness due to addiction, or an overdose leading to medical care or death, according to recent data.

Approximately one in six Americans, or 48.4 million people, were living with a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anybody, no matter how rich you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how influential you are,” stated Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is worried that the murders will make people “deeply suspicious of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become violent at any point in time. And that’s not true,” Greg noted.

These “are really crucial discussions to have, since addiction is so prevalent in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant stigma surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really a threat and the potential for harming others.”

She also advised against making assumptions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is not known whether substance use or psychological distress were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and substance use disorder, and fill in the gaps to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

The Reality of Risk

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may lead to agitation, a brutal act like a murder of two people is exceptionally rare.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or substance use disorder do not ever show anything remotely close to violent behavior. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The statistical truth is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with dread—not of their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being estranged from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting limits and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot live at home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get a phone call or that knock on the door telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, every day of the year, for a parent.”

He recounted the terrifying calls: from the ER saying a son was unconscious; from jail, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction stemmed from some parental failure; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and dreading judgment from others directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be content one day and in despair the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can get over any other type of disease, you can get over this disease, too. You can heal and be successful,” said Grover. “If you try and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a college degree, and works as a skilled tradesperson. Grover reflected on his struggle to “save” his son, realizing it could not be forced.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t grasp my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they cared for him and believed in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always extended, because you never know when they’ll take it and accept help.”