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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his actions, making him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. However, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t independently formed that conclusion by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, due to so much stigma associated with the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Although up to 75% of people diagnosed with the condition are males, findings indicates this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I often enter defence mode or I completely shut down.” Even with this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself over the years the difference between suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she says. There were no boundaries when my household were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the growth of online advocates and the development of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number